rosarianoath

Why am I—-?

[There’s a thread of frustration there. It’s with everything, himself and all of circumstance. Maybe even a bit with her, too. She’s so tender with him, even when he’s been brusque. Distant.]

Please. Just let me do what I can for us.

[Right now, that’s an orgasm.]

[Her hand slips to the side of his neck, gentle and tender as ever as she looks into his eyes.]

I never loved you for what you could do. Don't you know that? It was always just you. Broken or whole, Clive.

I know. You’ve said so.

[It plays over and over in his mind, a steady beat of regret and poor judgment, and he stills in her completely, halfway in. Long exhale. What to do next? Continue?]

Do you believe it?

[If he's going to stop moving, she's going to try and coax him down to kiss her.]

I do. [He’s reluctant to indulge himself, even if it would please her. He’s missed this for months, but he won’t gorge himself. Still, he bends his head down to her.] I just think you deserve better than broken.

[A beat.]

All I can do is please you in bed.

[She leans up a little to meet him, the shift of their bodies causing her to hum softly. The kiss is soft, but no less hungry, tongue demanding he part his lips.]

Have I not been broken without you?

[Broken... but strong, at least until tonight.]

I know, sweetheart. I know.

[The endearment is thoughtless, uninhibited. He lets her kiss him. He opens his mouth to her, kisses her like it could wring some measure of joy from either of their lives. He rocks his hips to her again, gentler. It’s the only restraint he can manage.]

[The whimper into his mouth could be from the movement or the endearment or both. He's a good man. He loves her. She loves him. But there's a wall she can't get past.

She sighs again, holding onto him.]

Use me. I want you to take your pleasure, Clive. Come inside me again, please. Once more.

[Before they should probably put an end to this.]

[Use her? He can’t deny that’s what he’s done tonight, but to have it laid bare stings.

But what the lady wants…

He nods, a terse little bob of his heads close to hers, and he picks up the pace as he resumes kissing her.]

[She kisses him as hard as she dares without fearing blood drawn from a tooth against a lip or tongue. She loves him, desperately. She needs him and he needs her and they both know it. That's what burns the most.]

I love you.

[A tiny gasp of words, but worth saying. She suspects they might not speak much after this night.]

[The words sink deep, and he’s coming in her before long, moaning directly into her mouth as he does. He loves her. He loves her. He loves her so much he wants to crush her into something tiny that he can keep on his person and protect jealously, and even coming in her now, he will not be able to keep her from men who could love her kinder and more openly than he does. ]

[It's a decidedly different sensation, him coming in her ass, but she's busy kissing him. Loving him. Hands in his hair and on his neck and his shoulders and mouth sealed to his.

She doesn't want to part in any way. Being apart has only ever been a mistake--doesn't he see that?]

[He lingers in her a moment, but not too long — he slips from her much easier than usual, and then settles on top of her like a blanket, albeit a very protective one. His arms wrap around her, the kiss lingering. Finally, he breaks off, just to breathe:]

Oh, Jill.

[Her arms go around him, too. She doesn't want to let go.]

Stay here tonight. Please.

[Just tonight. She's already buckled. What's some more hours of weakness?]

[He doesn’t even hesitate.]

Of course.

[But only for tonight. He sighs comfortably.]

I should draw you another bath.

[Only for tonight. She lets out a soft sigh of relief. Tonight, she can pretend.]

Only if you share it with me.

[He shifts, just enough to not be laying on her entirely. Better to nestle to her neck.]

Is there enough room for two?

There is.

[But she makes no move to get up, not wanting him to move in turn. She turns her face to breathe in the acent of his hair, his skin.

This has to be a dream.]

[He doesn’t move either, content in the aftermath to enjoy a thing he hasn’t had for months. Her heartbeat feels unchanged, like they never parted.]

I’ll go in a moment.

I'm in no hurry, Clive.

[There's an absolute mess between her legs and on the bed but she doesn't care. This is more important.

She shifts just enough to press her lips to his forehead, lingering.]

[Is it wrong to linger this way? He wonders what came over him that he’d push her around like this, even if she’d liked it well enough. All their well-maintained, meticulous boundaries…

But had they been so well maintained?

He sighs, sad now, but he holds her tighter. ]

[Something may be in the water, but had it been a normal day and Clive expressed such desire, she doesn't think she would have it in her to resist. She's nevwr stopped wanting him.

She knows that sigh. Her voice is soft when she speaks.]

Don't. [Feel sorry for it, she means. There's time for that in the morning.]

Just enjoy the now.

[Easier said than done, but he tries valiantly anyway, pressing a kiss to the edge of her jaw. He promises:]

I am.

[She kisses the bridge of his nose. She wonders if she can kiss every part of his face before morning.]

This is all I could ever want.

[Founder, he wishes he could always have this.]

Tonight, we live in a perfect world.

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