Inbox

[rosarianoath]

 ok

Comments

[rosarianoath]

[He drifts after her, fingers wrapped around hers, following her to the tub.]

I think it’ll overflow if I step in there with you.

[noburden]

Then we drain it. Or we let it overflow. I don't care.

[(She will care when there's water damage.)

Jill turns, tugging him closer.]

I want you with me. I don't want to be served by you.

[rosarianoath]

[Her insistence is mildly alarming and deeply sad, he thinks. Wordlessly, he steps one foot into the bath, as if to prove he’s serious, and shifts his grip on her hands to be supportive, to help her in. ]

That’s alright, Jill. I’ll stay.

[noburden]

[Carefully, using his help, she steps into the tub.]

I think I miss the trust we had between us most of all.

[rosarianoath]

I know.

[There’s no small amount of sympathy there. He eases her down into the hot bath.]

I miss that terribly… and yet it’s hardest to get back.

[noburden]

[And it seems to go both
ways. Jill bites back any sound she might be inclined to make as she sits, hot water greeting the tender parts of her body.]

It used to be a rare thing when you doubted my words.

[rosarianoath]

I know. I don’t want to doubt you, Jill.

[He sinks down with her, watching the water line rise precipitously to the edge of the tub. When he sinks back, slouching against the back of the tub, a small bit sloshes over. He reaches to her, to coax her into using his chest as a backrest.]

I suppose I’ve never been jealous like this before.

[noburden]

[She goes, hair and all. Oh well. She makes herself at home, back of her head against his shoulder.]

There was never time for it, was there?

[rosarianoath]

[He runs a hand down her ribs and belly, gentle.]

Was there ever anyone else I should have worried about?

[noburden]

[There are so many jokes to make she doesn't know what to say for a moment.]

No.

[More eyes were after him, she thinks.]

There's no one to worry about here, either.

[Which sounds silly, but she's being honest.]

[rosarianoath]

[He shifts a little, knees bracketing her sides. It’s a tight fit with two of them, but comfortably so.]

I should know that. I never imagined you’d move on quickly… but maybe I hoped you’d find happiness.

[noburden]

[He's her throne. She sighs, letting her eyes close in this comfort.]

You were my happiness.

[rosarianoath]

[Not for the first time, he considers that he’s lesser to her if he isn’t there to warm her bed. He lets his hand drift lower on her belly, fingertips just grazing between her legs.]

I know. I hoped you’d find what I robbed you of by being… unavailable.

[noburden]

You've done a poor job of that.

[In almost every way. Jill doesn't move save to lightly run her hand up and down his arm.]

I still don't even know what you feel you stole from me. I thought I would find it out there, on my own. I've... found other things, but I could have found them with you by my side as well.

[rosarianoath]

[He clarifies:]

Being unavailable is what robbed you.

[But it’s all the same in the end anyway, and he sighs.]

You already know I regret that. But I don’t know that I am any more capable of giving you the future you want now than I was months ago, either.

[noburden]

The future feels very far away.

[Especially when she haa a home and a life, really, here.]

But I won't beg you. I refuse to ever beg again.

[It's said gently, but perhaps that is one good thing to come from this. She knows she deserved better treatment than what he gave her in the end, and if he's still where he was months ago, then that is his choice.]

[rosarianoath]

I don’t ever want you to beg. [He presses his nose briefly to her scalp, breathing in.] But if I said I’d try, would you trust me to be capable of it?

[noburden]

[The pause is probably more indicative of her feelings on the matter than anything else.]

I don't know.

[She lets out a breath.]

I would like to, but I am... terrified of feeling that hurt again. I feel like I've only just found my footing.

[rosarianoath]

[He closes his eyes, letting his hands rove over her under the water.]

I understand, Jill. That’s why I am trying to be careful of what I ask of you. But we shouldn’t talk about these things tonight.

[noburden]

You can come to my bed, when you feel the need.

[She's learned sex can just be sex. A good time with nothing more to it than mutual satisfaction.

She just has to learn that with Clive.]

[rosarianoath]

[He’s quiet for a moment, the only sound the churn of water as he shifts a hand up to her breast. Finally, politely:]

Thank you.

[noburden]

I won't turn you away.

[Better than nothing, perhaps. And maybe it will wash away some of the tension that remains despite their efforts to be friends.

She decides to not mention how she and Luis have settled into a comfortable friends-with-benefits situation and enjoy Clive's hands on her instead.]

[rosarianoath]

[That’s what makes him worried —- that he could end up using her, taking too many liberties. He noses around the back of her ear, thinking of how nice would be to have her.]

I worried I was too rough with you.

[How much he could be again. Her body is soft, her hips too wide to fit between his thighs without pressing tightly.]

[noburden]

I liked it.

[No pause, no hesitation before she speaks.]

I've always enjoyed how strong you are, but I've never needed to be handled as if I were made of glass. I didn't break.

[rosarianoath]

[He kisses the space behind her ear.]

I’ll keep that in mind, in case I’m ever in… such a mood.