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[rosarianoath]

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[rosarianoath]

[He’s quiet for a moment, the only sound the churn of water as he shifts a hand up to her breast. Finally, politely:]

Thank you.

[noburden]

I won't turn you away.

[Better than nothing, perhaps. And maybe it will wash away some of the tension that remains despite their efforts to be friends.

She decides to not mention how she and Luis have settled into a comfortable friends-with-benefits situation and enjoy Clive's hands on her instead.]

[rosarianoath]

[That’s what makes him worried —- that he could end up using her, taking too many liberties. He noses around the back of her ear, thinking of how nice would be to have her.]

I worried I was too rough with you.

[How much he could be again. Her body is soft, her hips too wide to fit between his thighs without pressing tightly.]

[noburden]

I liked it.

[No pause, no hesitation before she speaks.]

I've always enjoyed how strong you are, but I've never needed to be handled as if I were made of glass. I didn't break.

[rosarianoath]

[He kisses the space behind her ear.]

I’ll keep that in mind, in case I’m ever in… such a mood.

[noburden]

I hope you are.

[It was different.]

It's almost as if I was in bed with Ifrit.

[rosarianoath]

[A thoughtful hum, reverberating through his chest.]

You were, in some sense. I felt it too.

[noburden]

Then my offer extends to Ifrit as well.

[It's a joke.

But she's also serious.]

[rosarianoath]

[His look of surprise is lost behind her shoulder. Alright.]

This city has a way of making certain… moods… come out.

[noburden]

Out of thin air?

[Or had the desire always been there?]

[rosarianoath]

[What a dangerous question. He noses along the top of her ear and then presses a brief kiss to the space behind it.]

No… just dormant a long time.

[noburden]

[She hums softly.]

And would you want to be wanted in that way, too?

[rosarianoath]

[They've never been good at talking about these things, not in the least because of the territories it can venture towards. Clive keeps nosing around her temple. Cautiously:]

I like it whenever it’s fast and impulsive… no matter who initiates.

[noburden]

[Her thumb brushes over the skin on his arm. He's still warm, whether it be from himself or the bath or the conversation.]

Less thought, more instinct.

[She turns her head to bump the bridge of her nose against his jaw.]

[rosarianoath]

[He presses the side of his face to hers, nuzzling.]

It’s easier when there isn’t time to think.

[noburden]

Do your thoughts distract you from the moment?

[This feels like a conversation they should have had long ago. She nuzzles back, knowing he must be glad she can't see his eyes from this position.]

[rosarianoath]

Constantly. Before or after, it’s best to get in and out before the thoughts plague me.

[noburden]

What thoughts?

[Like they don't have a hundred terrible ones to pull from.]

[rosarianoath]

[He’s quiet for a moment, eyes closed, hands settling with his arms around her waist. He owes her, he always owes her.]

Guilt. Whatever else I should be doing instead of indulging. Whether I deserve such attentions. Whether I will be judged.

[noburden]

Oh, Clive.

[She can't really hold him, positioned like this, but she can hug one of his arms and press a kiss to the underside of his jaw. They are where they are. The guilt is heavy, she knows that well, but the last two on his list are what twist her heart in her chest.]

You're no monster nor brute. You've made a difference in so many lives... a good difference. You deserve pleasure and passion and love. You always have.

[Even if it's not from her.]

I know you best, don't I?

[rosarianoath]

[It’s touching to hear such things, especially from her, but his careful dance around the worse thoughts has left them swimming in his mind.]

You do. And for that reason, it is difficult to be rough with you.

[noburden]

You just were. Nothing terrible happened.

[She trusts him not to hurt her. Physically, at least. Emotionally... well, he's done his worst.]

[rosarianoath]

[His grip on her tightens the slightest bit.]

I was holding back best I could.

[noburden]

Hold back less, then. I know you're afraid of hurting me, but I would tell you to stop if I were at my limit, Clive. I would tell you.

[She's curious as to how much of him she could handle. How much has he been holding back?]

[rosarianoath]

I do not want you to be so pressured that you have to ask me to stop.

[Is it a blessing that she never knew him for the Bastard he was? What he’s capable of, beyond the vague statements he’s made? He swallows his breath.]

Earlier, when you were doing dishes, I had the passing thought of pressing you against the counter and pushing up your skirts. And when you were in the bath, I wondered… could I come in have my way with you? I desperately wanted to, but I had no right to touch you.