rosarianoath

[He presses the side of his face to hers, nuzzling.]

It’s easier when there isn’t time to think.

Do your thoughts distract you from the moment?

[This feels like a conversation they should have had long ago. She nuzzles back, knowing he must be glad she can't see his eyes from this position.]

Constantly. Before or after, it’s best to get in and out before the thoughts plague me.

What thoughts?

[Like they don't have a hundred terrible ones to pull from.]

[He’s quiet for a moment, eyes closed, hands settling with his arms around her waist. He owes her, he always owes her.]

Guilt. Whatever else I should be doing instead of indulging. Whether I deserve such attentions. Whether I will be judged.

Oh, Clive.

[She can't really hold him, positioned like this, but she can hug one of his arms and press a kiss to the underside of his jaw. They are where they are. The guilt is heavy, she knows that well, but the last two on his list are what twist her heart in her chest.]

You're no monster nor brute. You've made a difference in so many lives... a good difference. You deserve pleasure and passion and love. You always have.

[Even if it's not from her.]

I know you best, don't I?

[It’s touching to hear such things, especially from her, but his careful dance around the worse thoughts has left them swimming in his mind.]

You do. And for that reason, it is difficult to be rough with you.

You just were. Nothing terrible happened.

[She trusts him not to hurt her. Physically, at least. Emotionally... well, he's done his worst.]

[His grip on her tightens the slightest bit.]

I was holding back best I could.

Hold back less, then. I know you're afraid of hurting me, but I would tell you to stop if I were at my limit, Clive. I would tell you.

[She's curious as to how much of him she could handle. How much has he been holding back?]

I do not want you to be so pressured that you have to ask me to stop.

[Is it a blessing that she never knew him for the Bastard he was? What he’s capable of, beyond the vague statements he’s made? He swallows his breath.]

Earlier, when you were doing dishes, I had the passing thought of pressing you against the counter and pushing up your skirts. And when you were in the bath, I wondered… could I come in have my way with you? I desperately wanted to, but I had no right to touch you.

That desire won out in the hallway, didn't it?

[She can't blame him for his worries. He's a gentleman with her. She doesn't doubt that he cherishes her, in his way. She rubs his arm thoughtfully, as if this were some problem to solve. It shouldn't be. They're not together. This is just...]

When I heard you at the door... I wished you had come in.

[If she’s said no and left, what would he have done? Fled? He breathes in the scent of her hair, the fragrance of the oils.]

What did you want me to do?

Kiss me. Talk to me. Touch me. I've missed... everything, Clive. Being near to you. Feeling wanted by you.

[He may hold himself back in bed, but she feels as if she holds herself back in every passing conversation. Saying good afternoon, and not reaching for his hand. Noting when he leaves at unusual times and not wanting to know why that may be, for fear of learning who he spends his time with. Not knowing the details of his day to day as she might otherwise. Not wanting to ask too much.]

My heart is the only thing truly fragile, Clive.

[The pleaser in him wants to rush to assurances: he can do all those things. He can kiss her and put his hands all over her, he can press himself to her so tightly that his heartbeat alone could make her body tremble. His hands can live in hers, live spanning the surface of her flesh.

He just gropes down her body and lets his hands settle on her hips. His fingers dig in, gently at first, even more greedily, and he holds her flush with his lap. He promises, just a murmur in her ear:]

Then as long as we live together, like this… I’ll show you how much I want you.

[He’s hard again.]

[An erection against her ass is difficult to ignore, and the whisper in her ear makes her shiver. She loves him.]

I don't want you to hold back, Clive.

[His lips drift along the shell of her ear.]

Any time of day? Anywhere in this house?

Any time of day or night. As long as I'm alone, I'll want you.

[Please do not be horny when she has Dion over for tea and pastries.]

I'm yours to take where you find me.

[It doesn't have to be anything more than a fuck.]

[The thought of being able to have her like that feels like a balm on the sting of having no future together. The best he could get, more than he dreamed of being able to ask for.

He breathes heavily by her ear, just on the cusp of a groan, and a hand closes around her breast to squeeze.]

Then within the walls of this house, you aren’t to wear any smallclothes.

[She groans outright, hand sliding over his to encourage him to squeeze harder.]

I don't often. So many times when you'd talk to me in the kitchen, there was nothing...

Nothing stopping me from bending you against the counter’s edge.

[His grip on her tightens, his other hand slipping between her legs to cup her pussy.]

It’s for the best. All the pretty things you wash in my quarters —- I’d just tear them off.

[There's not much room with the two of them in the tub, but she mamages to part her thighs just a little more for his hand.]

You've looked?

[She hasn't exactly been hiding her collection of increasing frilly, sheer, and lacy things, but...]

Do you imagine how they'd look on me, Clive?

[He nods, a brush of his nose against her skin, and his fingers slip between her lips.]

Mere baubles on the most beautiful creature I’ve ever known.

[She breathes out a laugh, reaching back to touch damp fingers to his cheek.]

I'm glad I'm still pleasing to your eyes.

[He leans into that touch, even as he pins her body to his chest with his hands.]

More than pleasing. Your hips were sculpted to fit in my hands. Your legs to wrap around my waist.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject