[It’s odd to have her in his arms again, but there are no boundaries he can lay down, having already come in her twice. He opens an arm to her, holding her to him, his own cheek against the top of her head. This is good. He missed this.]
[That he can bring himself to do it will hurt her, too.
Jill sighs softly and knows the sound of her tub. She takes one of Clive's hands and reluctantly pulls away from him, but takes him with her so she can turn off the water.]
[Her insistence is mildly alarming and deeply sad, he thinks. Wordlessly, he steps one foot into the bath, as if to prove he’s serious, and shifts his grip on her hands to be supportive, to help her in. ]
[He sinks down with her, watching the water line rise precipitously to the edge of the tub. When he sinks back, slouching against the back of the tub, a small bit sloshes over. He reaches to her, to coax her into using his chest as a backrest.]
I suppose I’ve never been jealous like this before.
[Not for the first time, he considers that he’s lesser to her if he isn’t there to warm her bed. He lets his hand drift lower on her belly, fingertips just grazing between her legs.]
I know. I hoped you’d find what I robbed you of by being… unavailable.
[In almost every way. Jill doesn't move save to lightly run her hand up and down his arm.]
I still don't even know what you feel you stole from me. I thought I would find it out there, on my own. I've... found other things, but I could have found them with you by my side as well.
[Especially when she haa a home and a life, really, here.]
But I won't beg you. I refuse to ever beg again.
[It's said gently, but perhaps that is one good thing to come from this. She knows she deserved better treatment than what he gave her in the end, and if he's still where he was months ago, then that is his choice.]
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I can rest here.
[She means against his chest, arms slipping around him, cheek settling against his shoulder.
She has to soak up what she can.]
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Does it hurt?
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A few things hurt. All of them worth it. [Her heart aches in anticipation of tomorrow, and her ass hurts. It's all what she's wanted.]
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I’m glad it’s worth it, at least.
[The tub is nearly full.]
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Jill sighs softly and knows the sound of her tub. She takes one of Clive's hands and reluctantly pulls away from him, but takes him with her so she can turn off the water.]
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I think it’ll overflow if I step in there with you.
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[(She will care when there's water damage.)
Jill turns, tugging him closer.]
I want you with me. I don't want to be served by you.
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That’s alright, Jill. I’ll stay.
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I think I miss the trust we had between us most of all.
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[There’s no small amount of sympathy there. He eases her down into the hot bath.]
I miss that terribly… and yet it’s hardest to get back.
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ways. Jill bites back any sound she might be inclined to make as she sits, hot water greeting the tender parts of her body.]
It used to be a rare thing when you doubted my words.
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[He sinks down with her, watching the water line rise precipitously to the edge of the tub. When he sinks back, slouching against the back of the tub, a small bit sloshes over. He reaches to her, to coax her into using his chest as a backrest.]
I suppose I’ve never been jealous like this before.
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There was never time for it, was there?
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Was there ever anyone else I should have worried about?
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No.
[More eyes were after him, she thinks.]
There's no one to worry about here, either.
[Which sounds silly, but she's being honest.]
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I should know that. I never imagined you’d move on quickly… but maybe I hoped you’d find happiness.
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You were my happiness.
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I know. I hoped you’d find what I robbed you of by being… unavailable.
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[In almost every way. Jill doesn't move save to lightly run her hand up and down his arm.]
I still don't even know what you feel you stole from me. I thought I would find it out there, on my own. I've... found other things, but I could have found them with you by my side as well.
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Being unavailable is what robbed you.
[But it’s all the same in the end anyway, and he sighs.]
You already know I regret that. But I don’t know that I am any more capable of giving you the future you want now than I was months ago, either.
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[Especially when she haa a home and a life, really, here.]
But I won't beg you. I refuse to ever beg again.
[It's said gently, but perhaps that is one good thing to come from this. She knows she deserved better treatment than what he gave her in the end, and if he's still where he was months ago, then that is his choice.]
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I don't know.
[She lets out a breath.]
I would like to, but I am... terrified of feeling that hurt again. I feel like I've only just found my footing.
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I understand, Jill. That’s why I am trying to be careful of what I ask of you. But we shouldn’t talk about these things tonight.
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[She's learned sex can just be sex. A good time with nothing more to it than mutual satisfaction.
She just has to learn that with Clive.]
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