rosarianoath

“I don’t want to disagree with you on anything,” he says, bowing his head to press his cheek to her forehead.

"Yet it's not the end of the world if we do, Clive," she promises. "Is that what you're afraid of?"

“I’ve been the source of unhappiness enough without also being yours,” he murmurs.

"You're not a source of unhappiness for me," she's quick to reassure, and she makes sure to look at him, fingers under his chin to guide his face. "You're my joy. A disagreement or even a little spat doesn't change that."

“But perhaps I have been, from time to time,” he says. Loving his father as he does, how could he not? But he tilts his face to her, as she bids.

"From time to time," she confesses. "As I'm sure I have been yours, from time to time. Neither one of us are perfect... but I think you're very close."

She jokes, voice soft. So close to perfect, and yet not good enough for his mother, his father. But she keeps that to herself.

He cracks the barest little smile, just briefly.

“If you’ve been an unhappiness to me, it’s only because I’ve failed to appreciate you in some way.” It’s as close to a concession as he wants to get. “If anything, you’ve been the single greatest source of kindness in my life.”

Some things will never change about him. He'll always try to protect her, especially from any hurt he might cause. What he says isn't the whole of it, and they both know, but she'll let it be for now.

"I hope that will always be true. You deserve kindness after living an unkind life."

“Anyone would have to work very, very hard, day in and out, to best you. Starting with five meals a day, at very least.”

He can joke a little, too. He presses a kiss to her forehead.

“You’re kind even when you have plenty of reason not to be.”

She breathes out a quiet laugh, eyes closing at the kiss. Five meals! She would do it if she didn't worry about him getting too round in the middle.

"I haven't always been kind to you. Those days I'll always regret," she recalls. "It makes me cherish you all the more now."

“I deserved it,” he murmurs, looking down at her a little gravely. “No matter how much I struggled, it was no excuse to not see your pain.”

She shakes her head.

"No, you didn't. I'll never believe that you deserved to be treated that way by me, no matter how I felt. I was terrible to you."

Not that there's much use in dwelling on that miserable part of their history.

"We were both hurting, and that made us both blind in our own ways. That's all."

“I wanted to be punished, and I chose the worst way to get it from you,” he says, something like a concession, and he takes a hand off her legs for a brief moment to stop a tear from falling on her. “And I will never allow that to happen again.”

"Nor will I. I'm so happy with how we are now, Clive," she reminds him, fingers brushing his hair from his eyes. His tears make her own eyes sting. "For the rest of our lives, you'll have kindness and patience from me. I understand you so much better now."

It’s embarrassing, but it’s okay with her. He nods, leaning into her touch, clumsily pressing a kiss to her fingers.

“I’d do anything for you, Jill. Anything you could possibly ask for. You deserve it.”

"I have all I could ask for. My treasure," she says with a warm smile, fingertips brushing over his bottom lip. "You do enough for me, Clive. That's why it makes me happy when you ask for what you want. We have that luxury, now."

He nods, squeezing his eyes shut. How wonderful she is.

“I’ll try,” he says. “I’ll try to ask for something every week, if it pleases you.”

Shut eyes are a good opportunity for Jill to plant a kiss on the tip of his nose.

"It would. You don't need to worry about me denying you."

“Thank you,” he says, squeezing her tight against him. “Is there anything I can do for you?”

She shakes her head.

"Just continue being yourself. Speak your mind. I'll be happy," she promises. "I already am."

Jill shifts to embrace him, squeezing tightly.

"You're all I need."

“I’ll do all that and more,” he promises, and he gathers her fully into his arms and tips them back to lay in bed.

"I don't need more," she points out with a laugh after she finds herself horizontal, looking to him with a smile. "You're enough, Clive."

“So are you,” he says, cradling her to his chest still. “You’re beloved, my lady.”

Every word fills her with warmth. To be loved so well is a gift she doesn't take for granted.

"Then every struggle and heartache has been worth it."

“Good,” he says. “That’s all that should matter — what we do next.”

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject