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[rosarianoath]

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[noburden]

I will find you something better than pornography.

[She would like to pretend she didn't buy him anything at the winter market months ago. But what would that memento have to remind him of? A point in time where she could scarcely say a kind word to him?

She can't turn her whole body, but she can turn her face to try and catch a kiss.]

[rosarianoath]

[He murmurs, just before catching her in the world's briefest kiss:]

That's very kind.

[Cuddling on the couch, watching porn together... that seems fine in this new way of doing things. Kissing? Too intimate to be appropriate, he decides, just off her lips.]

[noburden]

[It's so brief she feels a little scorned, and then irritated that she feels that way at all. She turns back to the screen just in time for Ashley to drop to her knees and get ready for a blowjob. Well, it makes sense for that to occur before they get started...]

[rosarianoath]

[Clive just continues to hold her, the drop-off in conversation limiting his attention to the porno: Ashley's unbridled enthusiasm, the well-practiced ability to take her partner deep into her throat without so much as a misty eye or hesitation. He feels himself starting to get hard, but he ignores it, as if Jill won't notice.]

[noburden]

[It's difficult not to notice with her ass nestled against him. Jill tells herself she shouldn't mention it, because what--did she expect him to be unaffected?]

She's skilled.

[She tells herself the man on the screen isn't nearly as big as Clive. Of course that's easy.]

[rosarianoath]

[Intrusive thought: she can do what Krauser does. Clive swallows his breath, agrees:]

She is.

[He runs his hand from her chest to her ribs, but stops there.]

[noburden]

[She presses back into him, against his hardening cock.]

I wonder how much practice it takes to take a man so easily.

[rosarianoath]

[It's good plausible deniability, being able to say this hard-on is hers, not Ashley's. Clive watches her cheeks hollow out around the cock. When was the last time Jill blew him? November?]

As much as it takes to be skilled at anything, I imagine... Diligence... some level of aptitude...

[noburden]

[Jill makes a vague noise of agreement.]

I was always made to believe it was unpleasant. A chore. Something to hurry up and get done and over with.

[rosarianoath]

And now?

[He drifts his hand a little lower, roving over her stomach, before returning back up to nestle under one breast.]

[noburden]

And now... sometimes I think I enjoy it more than my partner.

[Just not as loudly as Ashley over there. Usually.]

[rosarianoath]

Really? [He mostly remembers making her choke, that blood-run-cold fear he'd hurt her.] What do you enjoy about it?

[noburden]

Why do you sound surprised?

[She asks with a small laugh, running her hand down his arm.]

I like the control. I like being the source of pleasure.

[rosarianoath]

I know you like the control. [She certainly doesn't like to be without it, and even when he's taken the reins, it's still at her demand.] I suppose I've just never considered it that way.

[noburden]

There's something about making a powerful man beg with just my mouth.

[She admits playfully, huffing out another laugh.]

But you know what it's like to be wanted. Needed.

[rosarianoath]

[Is that him? He's sure she means it that way, but...

Don't think about that. He just smiles, palm gliding over her breast and catching a nipple gently between his fingers.]

You don't let me forget it.

[noburden]

[She smiles, tracing the back of his hand with a fingertip.]

You're a part of me.

[Like it or not.]

[rosarianoath]

I know.

[They're going to be bound together for eternity, no matter what happens. That makes him feel oddly sad; it isn't everything it could have been, and it's his fault.

He runs the tip of his nose along the shell of her ear.]

I liked it when you took control.

[noburden]

You don't like having to think. To worry.

[She gets that now, and it's not a criticism. She only wish she had a better understanding of what he needed from her before. Not that it would have changed where they are now, but...]

[rosarianoath]

Yes.

[It felt impossible to mention then, and it’s still hard now, but he’s sure it’s now obvious to her how far it goes.]

I didn’t want to—-

[Ashley pulls back off her partner’s cock with an exaggerated popping sound and moans loudly: “I want you to come in my ass!”]

[noburden]

[Ashley. Jill looks at the screen as if she might tell her to be quiet.

She really hopes she doesn't sound like that.

Anyway.]

Didn't want to...?

[Ashley's partner lifts her up--with less ease than Clive's lifted Jill, she notes--and moves her to the bed.]

[rosarianoath]

[Attention still on Ashley:]

I didn't want to make you feel obligated to that in any way.

[noburden]

Nothing with you ever felt like an obligation. I was always...

[Grateful? She takes a moment to settle on the right words.]

It felt like a gift. It made me happy. Of all the people in the world, I was able to share those moments with you.

[rosarianoath]

[He sighs, grip on her shifting to squeeze tighter for a brief moment.]

We had something beautiful, at least for a time.

[noburden]

[It didn't have to end, she wants to tell him. But he would only get upset. She doesn't want to lose the warmth of him against her back.]

We did.

[Though now it hurts to think about.]

I'm... simply glad to be friends, still.

[Friends with benefits. That love one another and live together but aren't together.]